Ticker...

The Pile O Sticks..

Well here is a photo of the pile of sticks that I used to help my sanity! I love pee sticks. I really do. Yeah I am a cheater but I love it. So glad that they make these things. I am still so happy about the pregnancy but sooo worried. It brings along all of its own worries! I am trying to take each day as it comes but that is so hard when you are trying to be patient! HEHE I mean trying. I am so excited to see the u/s and what is going on in there. I need to buy my own machine like Tom Cruise did. That would really be awesome! Oh well I continue to wait.

About the photo these were taken from my upstairs bathroom! I still have more hidden but didn't want to look like a pee stick freak! Or did I already do that? I just thought that it was so funny to have this huge pile of pee sticks....

Qualifications for a POAS addiction....

This was posted on my fertility page by a friend on the board and I thought that it was sooo funny so I copied it and put it here because it is sooo true!!!



Qualifications for POAS addiction: - you have to have purchased not 1 or not even 2 but SEVERAL hpts to take. - you start testing early to make sure that hcg from the trigger shot has left your system. You're elated that's it's negative at this point... - Then you start POAS daily, sometimes more than once a day to check for the faintest of lines. - for each test, you keep in an accessible location so you can pick it up and look at it at LEAST 20 times a day. (I keep mine on the bathroom counter and the bathroom seems to suck me in every time I walk by it) - you've been in ever position imaginable, even on your head, studying the test to see if you see some type of line - you hold the test, while standing on your head also, in different lights (believe me, I've tried them all) - you keep all of your used test, date them, lay them in order to analyze the line getting darker - you feel you need to keep it a secret from DH cause you're afraid he will think you are loosing it. You test secretly, early hours of the morning. - you've become a pro at holding your pee for several hours so that you can test again - and yes, my favorite, you drag your child out of bed to get his/her opinion.


I am just sitting here letting my baby grow! Tom comes home and askes "hows the Gamete?" He is so funny. I love him so much. He wants a girl and I am ready for a boy. I mean it really doesnt matter does it? No way! I love either. Just so happy to be pg!!! I can't wait to see the doctor and give him a big hug! Still having little waves of nausea here and there and I am loving it!!!!

Well its a BFP!!!!

Well the official news came today in the form of a phone call from the IVF nurse god!!! LOL She called and said that it was a BFP with a beta of 708. I am so thrilled by this. I can hardly even type! I am so excited!!! I am running around jumping for joy here! It is so exciting! They do not do another beta because it was high already so they do not need to do another one. I am happy about that as I nearly vomit the closer it gets to 4 that I wait for the call. I go in for an u/s on June 5th to see what is happening in there. Hummmmm we did have 2 embryos put back in. Who knows. I am just glad that something is going on in there! I will be reporting the next news as I get it in!

More Sticks...10DPT

Ok Ok so I am an addict. I can's help it. I am just so worried about the problems of yesterday...i shouldn't be I really shouldn't be. Every twinge and pull I am feeling like I might lose the baby. I mean I am so trying to stay focused on being positive but it is so hard right now. I am emotional and I just want everything to work out ok. It is hard going through this repeatedly. With my BFN with the FET I didn't have any of the AF type cramping but it sure feels like she is going to pay a visit anyday now...Anyhow on to the meat of the day. Here is an Accuclear test and the test line is as dark as the control line!!! I am so excited about this! This test is one of the cheaper Target tests and it says online that it picks up 50 mIU of HCG in the urine. I am so pleased about this. It says that you should only use it on the first day of your missed period! I am before that so it is awesome. It calms my shaky nerves! LOL

The waiting game

Well still waiting. The boys pray over me just about every day about the health of the baby(ies) that are in there. I am so happy about this and it is so cute. They are really good little boys and I love them dearly. Things are going the same ol' same ol'. Still waiting in this torture time. I hate these two weeks. I know it will be good to get a good result on my beta but the waiting stinks! I really does. I wish that we could find out just a little sooner. I really want to know what the heck is going on-with the official word. I keep sitting here staring at all the pee sticks wondering if they are really true? Can they be? I mean I was getting the positives before my shot and I only had a half dose so could it be? I have no idea. It is so hard to think that I could be pg. Really it is. So looking forward to finding out.....

Everything Looks Good

Well no call from the nurse today so the blood levels must be great! I am happy about that. No changes. I asked about the beta test today and they said that they only will do one test and if it is at a high level they do not do another test. I always thought that they did 3 of them to check to see that they are increasing. Now I am sitting here so nervous about what is going on inside...I just want to know. I am doubting the tests...even the tests that I had before the shot! Isn't that crazy? Wouldn't you think that I would be happy? I am so emotional. This is all an emotional roller coaster. I hate it. I really do. Why can't things just work out for once? I have been prepared to start bawling at any minute and it is really driving me nutty! I just wish I didn't have to take that shot so that I could be checking with the sticks more....I am a pee-on-a-stick-a-holic!!!! I really am. I just want to know so badly. I know just shut up and deal with it right and quit whining? OK...Until next time.

I'm Still here!!!

Well I am still here waiting. I wish I didn't have to take that darn shot with the HCG in it. I am ready to test test test MORE! Now I keep wondering was the first round of 50 tests right? what is going on in there? I need to see. I must see!!! I am so excited to find out the result. I have to go to the doctor today to get my E2 and P4 levels drawn and it really does seem like an eternity until Thursday! I am so impatient that I can't stand it. I am much more relaxed though knowing I got the first round of positive pee sticks! LOL I feel tired but I work third shift so who wouldn't feel sleepy? I feel bloated but it could be the shots. I have no idea. Still cramping some. Not much at all and no spotting. Until Next Time!!!!!!

The Cramps

I started having slight AF type cramping today. Unreal. First I am like why don't I have any cramping and then I am like oh no AF is really coming. They are not bad at all just little pains. Just enough to be noticed and annoy me because I don't know what is going on. I am worried because of the m/c I had last summer. I don't want to have to go through that again. I have a long road ahead with worry...Guess I should just sit here and enjoy being pregnant! I am really excited to have the blood work done next week!!! I hope that the days go by so I won't have to think about this.....Yeah Right! What waking moment aren't I thinking about this pregnancy?!?!?!?! So stressful and always waiting for something!

The Call

Well the nurse from the clinic called today and she told me that I have to start taking Estrogen tablets under my tongue twice a day, start taking the PIO every day instead of every other day, and go and get a special shot from the pharmacy-Ovidrel to help boost Estrogen levels. Still not real sure how that works right now but I will make the necessary changes....

Update on testing. I took some photos of my tests and they are coming back more and more positive! Well you can't really see the lines on the photo but they are there!!!!

I took the digital today and it said positive. I went to the store and loaded up. I had to use them because the shot that I had to take this evening is HCG so that totally jacks up my plan to keep taking the HPT's!!!! So I dove into the arsenal and used them this afternoon. It was fun. I keep looking at them. Here are the results:

1) FRED-faint line

2) Equate-faint +

3) Answer-light pink line

4) Digital-PREGGO!!!!

I am so thrilled and I can't believe that I have to wait until next week to get my beta done!!!

This may seem crazy....

Ok so yesterday-I didn't tell you that I got a VERY faint line on the FRED HPT test. I thought Ok it might be an evaporation line or something but nevertheless I enjoyed the moment. But had some doubts. I thought that I would have to disassemble the thing right there and get out my microscope and look for the line because I was burning a hole in it looking at it all freaking day. Still the what if's...Anyhow.....I took another one last night and it was really faint and just about not there even so I thought OK maybe it was a faulty test...Well I just did yet ANOTHER test and it is a faint line. Not VERY faint but just faint. I want to scan it in so you could see but it wasnt showing anything at all. Just the lovely dark control line. Anywhooo I see it! I see another line on the stick. I know I am only 4dp5dt but still I know what I see. Could it still be the trigger? No....Well maybe.....No....I dont know! I would think that after 11 days it would be out of my system considering I only did 5,000 units this time to avoid OHSS. This is nuts...I know what I see though and I see it right away. Hummmm.... Even more to ponder in my heart. The boys have been praying for me and the em-babies and it is so darn cute. I know that it is really out of my hands now and in His. God let my stick be true!!!!

The continued waiting...

Well I still sit here waiting waiting. It is what we IVF patients do best I guess. Anyhow I am just enjoying the fact that I am for now preggo-I mean I know that there are embryos where they need to be and now I just sit and wait for the proof right? I am not having any symptoms really other than breast tenderness and feeling like I am going to bawl at every little thing! It is really bad but I dont know if it is just the hormones that I am taking or what...I will find out in 10 days though.

It seems that running around was the easy part for blood draws and ultrasounds and this just sitting around waiting is the hardest? Why is that? Oh well. I am trying to take it easy and just relax about it but that is easier said than done when it is a huge gamble basically. With my time and money. I know it will be worth it when I see the positive but until then I don't know.

The transfer

Well I had my transfer this AM. It went well. The RE said that things went perfect and we are hoping for a BFP as all get out. This waiting is so hard. It really is. These are the photos of my em-babies. I am so hoping that at least one of them decides to stick around for the long haul this time. I really want this to work. Obviously. Didnt I just say that? Oh well I am just talking out of no where really. I am left to my thoughts and my progesterone shots. LOL I did break down and buy some pee sticks! I know I know it may be early but I need to know that the trigger shot has left the building and that the embies are sticking in for a bit. I can't wait to see the double lines on the beautiful little stick! I know I am sick right? Oh well. Those are my thoughts for the moment. I have two long long weeks ahead of me. My beta is on the 24th. Ugghh. The 24th is an eternity away. Just an eternity.

Update

Well I went for my second IV Hespan today and it went well. No big problems to report and I got the fertilization report. 7 embryos growing well!!!! I am so happy about this. It is looking good for me. I am hoping that we will be back in on Friday for our transfer of two wonderful picture perfect embies! They will not look at them again until Wed afternoon when they change the media they are growing in. I can't wait to hear. I hope that I know before the end og the day but she said probably not until Thursday. Thats OK as long as I know what is going on!!! I must know ASAP!!! LOL that is just the controlling part of me. :) Oh I also got a note from the RE to be off of work all week! Woo Hoo I am off until Sunday night I think! That is the best news yet I can live a normal life until then. I am thrilled because I am still sore yet. This way I can just relax through the transfer. That will be great.

Well thoughts of possibly being pg are all consuming of my mind and my time right now. I try not to think about it but it just happens. It is so hard not to think about it. Will it work or wont it? I will be going to the store to buy some pee sticks after the transfer. I want to see what is going on as soon as it goes on and hopefully I will have some photos of positive to share. This time of uncertainty is really unreal. You have no clue unless you have been here in the 2WW with me. LOL I am still a little sore when I move about and I will be so thankful to rest good this week.

HCG shot and ER

The HCG shot was on Friday night and we only did the 5,000 units instead of 10, 000 units because of risk of OHSS. I have been pretty swollen lately. The RE recommended that I do the Hespan for 3 days IV. I decided after doing some research that it was a good idea to help reduce the risk of OHSS because my E2 was over 2800 last time....

ER- Well I did it and it went well! I guess they were able to get 12 mature eggs. I do not know anything else about the fertilization or anything. I did get an IV lock that is really annoying so that I don't have to be poked for my IV Hespan. I have to go and get it in the morning and then again Tuesday morning. I start my PIO and my suppositories on Tuesday as well. I am pretty sore tonight and I am looking forward to each day getting a little better. Not like I am dying in pain or anything just uncomfortable. I am so excited to see what is happening with my "babies"!!!! They do not disturb them at all after fertilization until day three. They will look at them and see how they are looking and grade them. I will not know when I am supposed to go in-as of right now they are planning on a 5 day transfer on Friday if they all look good on Wednesday. That is what we are hoping for anyway. I can't wait to hear something on how they are doing!!! My bbs are very sore from the high estrogen levels....Can't hardly move without soreness...Oh well. If I get my precious little surprise out of the deal then it is worth it right? I will update you when I know more this week.

Yesterdays Appointment

Well for me it feels like todays appointment due to the fact that I work at night but anyhow it went well. I have about 18 or so follies and they are looking good so I was able to trigger last night! Yeah! Tom did the shot about 9pm on the dot. I go in on Sunday for the ER. He is going so he can be a part of the procedure again. He just loved going in last time to get his jewels stabbed! He still teases about it. He says that his parts were the size of Texas!!! He is so funny. Such a good good man. So good to me. Anyhow back on track. Things are looking good and about 13 are above 16 mm and the nurse said that the other can catch up so we will just have to see. My left ovary is difficut to reach because of how it sits. They had trouble last time this happened as well. I hope that it will go into place on Sunday for ER. ET shoudl be on Friday the 11th. I start PIO (actually in ethyl oleate) on Tuesday-no estrace because mine was 2800. I will be on IV Hespan due to the high risk of OHSS. They do three IV infusions of it-Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I hope that it works. I felt so bloated and crampy last time we did IVF. We are starting to get excited about things. Tom said he would really like a girl because we already have the boys....I don't really care and I am excited to get moving so I can POAS!!!!